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Coming Out In 2012

1 Apr

I think we have all known for a while now, but I wanted to make the official announcement. These guys are coming out big time in 2012!

Zac Efron in The Lucky One

Robert Pattinson in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Josh Hutcherson in The Hungers Games

Justin Bieber with Boyfriend. Yes the name of his new single is actually Boyfriend. No doubt 2012 is a big coming out year for Justin. I think his new single is just a sneak peek into what he will be coming out with next.

A Few Tips From the Shallow

13 Mar

What really matters is what you like, not what you are like… Books, records, films — these things matter. Call me shallow but it’s the f*ckin’ truth – High Fidelity

This Week:

WATCH

LISTEN

READ

And we promise… men will want to be your friend and women will want to sleep with you

A Thousand Words Too Many

10 Mar

Congratulations to Eddie Murphy and everyone involved with A Thousand Words. You’ve really out done yourself. Receiving a 0% on the TOMATOMETER at Rotten Tomatoes, A Thousand Words secures a place at the helm of the coveted list of the worst movies ever made. Joining such classics as Norbit, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Meet Dave, Daddy Day Care, Nutty Professor II, Imagine That, Dr. Dolittle, I Spy, Bowfinger, and every other movie Eddie Murphy has done that isn’t Coming to America, 48 Hours and Trading Spaces.

Because Murphy didn’t have the sense to quit in 1989 and has continued destroying any hope of being remembered as a legend, he joins the following list of people who should have died in their prime:

Carrie Fisher: Princess Leia is really looking gross these days. Leia should have done herself in after the filming of Return of the Jedi in 1983.

OJ Simpson: From one of the greatest running backs ever to killing his wife, “The Juice” should have died around 1990.

Ozzy Osborne: “Mmsmdfm mm mamamym. Masmdadm” From being a metal god to mumbling about winning a free colonoscopy in NYC, Ozzy has lost it. He should have followed Randy Rhodes and died in 1982.

Kristie Alley: I can’t remember if she’s fat or skinny these days, but it doesn’t really matter. Ally hasn’t done a damn thing to help herself since the finale of cheers. That being said around 1993 would have been a good time.

Flavor Flav: From political badass rapper with Public Enemy to Brigitte Nielsen’s bitch, Flav lost all cred and therefore should have call it quits in the early nineties.

To bad they couldn’t be all like Billy Mays, and be remembered as greatest spokesman the world had ever seen. We miss you Billy.

Living In a Gangsta’s Paradise

9 Mar

This week musical sensation Coolio got himself thrown into prison so he could spend more time with his son. Coolio is a real artist and a great father figure. His actions remind us that most African American men embrace the Fantastic Voyage of fatherhood. Still we must remember that many white kids are not lucky enough to have such a dope dad.

Weird Al (a white and nerdy man) who has been linked to Coolio since he released Amish Paradise, a parody of Coolio’s hit jam Gangsta’s Paradise, could have used a father like Coolio. Instead Weird Al’s parents killed themselves because they were so ashamed of his career. Personally I think they overreacted; UHF is better than most George Lucas films.

Video of the Week

3 Mar

Every week the American Roosters Interns devote several hours to surfing the web to bring you the Video of the Week. Here is this weeks winner:

 

Honorable mentions:

Cliff JumpN AccidentDick Head of the year, Skeetboarding

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