Tag Archives: Whitney Houston

Whitney’s Death Helps Boost Bobby’s Career.

4 Apr

No, not “my prerogotive” bobby brown, I mean Bobby Kristina Brown.  It turns out mom’s death is the best thing that could have happened to the young entertainer.  Following her appearance on Oprah last month, her career has really started to blossom.  The 19-year-old Brown will be a new addition to the TBS’ comedy “Tyler Perry’s For Better or Worse”.  Let me assure our Caucasian readers that this is indeed a big deal.  Some have criticized Bobby Kristina for moving into the entertainment world so soon after her mother’s death, but I for one am glad that she has stepped  up to carry the pipe torch.

“Crack Ho”s and Flag Burners Still A-OK Under 1st Amendment

23 Mar

The First Amendment.  The favorite amendment of news reporters, flagburners and liberals reared its ugly head in Los Angeles this week.

 

Under pressure to rein in local Political shock-jocks John and Ken (KFI AM 640), and after consulting with their lawyers the City Council had to concede that America is still a free country.  After determining that the First Amendment still protects actual speech and not just charred flags and phots of the Virgin Mary with feces on it, the LA City Council called for radio outlets to put an end to racist and sexist language on the airwaves.  John and Ken were suspended by KFI for 7 days for calling Whitney Houston a “crack ho” shortly after her death.   The Roosters support free speech, but wish to publicly acknowledge that we also believe that Crack is Whack.

 

 

KONY: Masturbation Meltdown

17 Mar

Only a week after sweeping the viral world off it’s feet and turning every college student and soccer mom into momentary political activists, Kony 2012’s co-creator Jason Russell was arrested for doing “the Pee Wee Herman.” Apparently the pressures of going viral got the best of him. What a pussy. You don’t see the Numa Numa kid cracking under the pressure of Internet fame, or Taiwanese Sensation Lin Yu Chun acting out (but damn that boy can sing). No, Russell just couldn’t handle it. Which is interesting because isn’t that what the video, and subsequent organization Invisible Children, all about; raising awareness and support?

According to Ben Keesey, CEO of Invisible Children, Russell’s masturbation was apparently caused by “exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition.” In that case I guess the whole thing makes sense.  We hope his recovery goes well so he can get back to kicking Kony’s ass. KONY 2012!

And in case you haven’t seen the video yet you can see it here.

Creed: The Resurrection

3 Mar


In light of recently forgotten, coked-out celebrities trying to restart their careers, Christian rockers Creed have returned to the stage. With a newly announced nationwide tour, Creed is officially back. No one is more excited about their resurrection than Kid Rock, this guy, and the millions of people who were too busy reading the ‘Left Behind‘ series to realize Scott Stapp is an asshole that hits girls. Stapp claims “Creed was ended by egos and people wanting to do their own thing and poor decision-making,” and that his “problems were not what ended Creed.” Sure Scott, the DUI’s, domestic violence, sex tape, and egotism had nothing to do with it. But that’s not why we hate you and your band. No rather here’s why:

 

If you were able to sit through the music video and honestly enjoyed it, please email me @ donovan.roosters@gmail.com. We need to talk.

Need A Career Restart? Consider Death.

25 Feb

So by now you’ve heard that Whitney’s mom is upset that the National Enquirer published a front page photo of Whitney in her casket with the caption “Whitney: The Last Photo.”  The Enquirer went on to describe the clothing, jewelry and footwear that the pop diva chose for eternity.  Apparently someone snapped the pic during the private viewing for the family at the funeral home.  This tragedy is taking a tremendous toll on the Houston family.  But not everyone is taking things so hard.

Within days of Houston’s passing Sony Music had the bright idea to raise the prices on Houston’s music catalog, thereby cashing in on all the fan nostalgia and goodwill that Whitney had built up (especially before she married Bobby Brown).  Good to see that Sony Music follows the advice of current Chicago Mayor and former Obama Chief of Staff, Rahm Emmanuel “you never want a serious crisis to go to waste.”

Like it or not, this is the system we’ve got.  And I’ve got to admit that I spent some time cranking up some Houston classics on YouTube.com after I found out about Whitney’s death.  So I gotta say it: Nothing restarts a career like death.  Just think of all the stars that were on the downward slope until they kicked it early.  Stars that were in danger of being forgotten.  Michael Jackson went from being nearly broke to making hundreds of millions of dollars each year ($170 million in 2011) for his estate.  Whitney’s numbers likely won’t be as impressive as Michael’s, but before she died, when was the last time you played a Whitney Houston song?  If they didn’t die, would we even care about Michael Jackson, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, or Tupac Shukar?  Or would these people have just gotten old and faded away? We love a good ole’ American tragedy, but we hate geriatrics.

%d bloggers like this: